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There was one thing I hadn’t planned to do and that was to move back to the city where I grew up. Not that I had any bad memories. I had loving parents, but they thought it was long past time I started dating again. I was a single dad with a demanding job as a firefighter and EMT. I didn’t have time to look for someone. That’s what I thought until I started at my station and met someone who changed everything.

Crash (Wes)

My parents considered me the disappointment among their three children. I was nothing like them. So at eighteen, I left and cut off all contact. My job as a firefighter was the only thing that kept me going. I wasn’t an attractive man, and I’d accepted that. When the new guy, Sasha Price, started working with me, he destroyed my comfort zone. I didn’t like the way he made me feel. I wasn’t supposed to like him, but I just couldn’t keep him out of my head.

(CW/TW: Brief mentions of infertility and past pregnancy loss.)

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Starting over after fifteen years hadn't crossed my mind, but the reality hit me when the final divorce papers arrived. To process the end of my marriage, I'd escaped to the lake where I owned a home. I was determined to have everything figured out by the time I returned to the city. What happened instead was an ambush by my son, Taylor, and his friends. Dallas, the beautiful ginger man, who came with him, ruined my plans. He’d made me question everything I’d thought I knew about myself.


There were a lot of things on my to-do list. The main one was trying not to burn out while I worked full-time and prepared for my last year of college. What hadn't made it to my list was walking in on one of my friend's fathers naked. Lee Porter intrigued me. When I returned home, a chance encounter brought us back together. Fascination turned to something else, and I was going to make the older man mine.

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I'd always wanted more. Some fairytale that didn't exist. One day I'd stood up and ran to give my children the life my family and community denied me. All of it had seemed simple in my brain but taking my life back at almost forty wasn't just about changing zip codes. That was until one night in my favorite diner, and the more I was looking for asked to sit at my table.

I was a serial monogamist, but long-term hadn't worked out for me. My fairytale didn't exist. The woman for me wasn't out there waiting, and if she was, I hadn't found her yet. I resigned myself to teaching during the week and playing ball with my friends on the weekend. And then a chance meeting in a diner changed everything. All I had to do was make her see that all the love and support she needed was right in front of her.

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At thirty-three, I was hopelessly in love with my best friend and roommate, Aisling Butcher. She was everything I wanted but could never have because I wouldn’t break that barrier. My fear of losing her was too much to transcend. That didn’t mean I didn’t live for every adoring expression when she looked at me. Yet how much longer could I remain strong before I revealed my secret?


My baby sister’s best friend, Toni, was flawless. She was everything I’d always wanted but knew I couldn’t possess. She was always my Babygirl. Her happiness and safety my only concern in life. That’s why I wouldn’t make my feelings known. I wasn’t good enough. I wouldn’t let my demons touch her perfection. But when teasing kisses turn to more, am I brave enough to claim what’s mine?

(Previously published in Dirty Daddies Pride 2021 Anthology. This doesn't contain any new content. Please read the author's note for content/trigger warnings before purchasing this title.)

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